Maryanne felt cheated and she was angry. She sat across from me tight lipped, cursed brow and arms crossed over her chest. It took a while for her to open up. To trust me enough. And when she did there was an onslaught, an outpouring of frustration, disappointment and anger as she ranted about her lack of opportunities, her boss who was useless and did not give a damn about her. After a while she revealed her own frustration that her performance was being negatively impacted but also her marriage was in tatters.
Clearly Maryanne was disengaged and miserable. But it was not entirely her fault. Maryanne, an Environment Officer worked in an organisation which had a culture which condoned her manager being useless. You see George had no idea how to connect in a heart-felt way with his team. He was good at setting goals and managing performance expectations. He was quick to judge and act when things were not going well. He was a very good manager and got a lot of things done.
But somewhere in his career he locked away his humanity. Not once in her eight years in the role did George ever talk to Maryanne about her experience of the work and how she was feeling about it. Not once did he ask for her ideas on how the work could be done differently or her ideas on how the Council could deliver better customer service. Nor did he know about her passions, fears and anxieties and aspirations for the future. In other words he had no idea what she was as a human being. But this was not his fault either.
George had never been trained in how to have this kind of conversation. The performance management training workshop taught him how to make SMART goals and all of the technical aspects. But it did not teach him how to be real and authentic in engaging with his team. Consequently he was now facing the prospect of performance managing Maryanne out of the business and he was terrified.
Some might say it is the organisations responsibility to develop the leadership capabilities required to inspire and engage their people. Some might do it well with significant investment and some not. But that is not their fault either. For goodness sake we are in a society where about 40% of marriages end in divorce. So lots of people do not know how to create and maintain meaningful connections with people.
Back to Maryanne. After a 3 month coaching program her tensions and anxieties faded. She began to realise she had sold out on herself. Maryanne remembered. She recalled what she was when she started in the role - excited, energised, positive. She had lost sight of her motivations, dreams and ambition. She had stayed in her job way too long and she was bored.
Maryanne realised the key role she played in her current misery and was feeling much more optimistic and hopeful about the future. She was ready to make a dignified exit and was prepared to have a positive and pro-active exit conversation with George.
Do you recognise the Maryanne's and George's in your business? I am confident there will be many of them. Taking people down a performance management process with the up-front intention to get rid of the 'dead wood" is cruel and demeaning to both manager and employee. It damages people and is unnecessary. People can and do turn around.
All businesses do have to make tough decisions from time to time and let people go that are not performing. But the up-front intention in how they go about this can make all of the difference to people's experience and the reputation of the business.
Our work at Because is helping people find their cause: what provides them with meaningful, purpose-driven work. Sometimes people do need to make a transition and they resist it with whatever they can muster. But helping them face this transition with love and empathy - demonstrating you care by having the hard conversations really does make a difference.
Oh by the way Maryanne made a successful transition into a Coordinator role with an environment statutory government agency. She is loving her work and getting her marriage back on track.
Are there some conversations your Manager's might need help with? Do you have some employees that should be released to create their next possibility?
Talk to us - call me on 0408 608 889 for a confidential discussion.